Rain

Weather has changed in the blink of an eye. One day it is sunny and hot, the next it is rainy and cold. Rain usually brings a reflecting mood over me, confronts me head to head with my feelings. And today I feel like the weather. Like the contestants of Project Runway, “one day I'm in and the next one I¡m out.”

I am infatuated, that much I know. But I do not want to fall in love. I cannot afford that. I cannot lose my head over someone that lives so far away. Even if I think he is absolutely perfect for me. That’s the moment when I get my infamous grip and let go. But this overcomes me with fear as I do not want to lose what I feel when I am around him. Therefore, I attach myself again to the uncertainty. Because it would be so easy to fall head over heels. My body aches for it, my mind is scared shitless. And that’s when I turn to him and I want to delve into his soul and find out what he is really feeling, to see if I am getting myself in deep waters for nothing, if I am risking getting my heart broken. But still, it really doesn't matter, I would lose myself in the blink of an eye for him, even if in the love game I was always the loser. I would let love take over and be my guiding light.