Old Flames

Never say never. Ha! Let me laugh now! Saturday night was one of the most interesting nights of my life. And I bet some people never thought they were going to hear what they ended up hearing. Mainly because I never thought I would tell what I ended up telling. Some of them are probably scandalized. I´m sure I´ll hear different extended versions from a third person a few months from now but… honestly, who cares?

I got an unexpected phone call past Thursday. The “Old Guard” was meeting up for dinner. Old friends from the neighborhood I grew up in. Some I liked, some I disliked. The list of attendees sounded bearable and I did not have anything better to do Saturday night. I had a plan, not a very fascinating one, but better than nothing

Lately I feel I have never looked better but the prospect of seeing some of these people scared me. For instance, I hadn’t seen my teenage crush for over 15 years… easily. “He is probably bald and fat now” – I thought. I even made jokes about it… So when I finally arrived and saw him… Wow!

Please keep in mind I fell for this guy when I was 12. He was barely 16. I was obsessed with him for years to no end. And he did not even pay attention to me, he saw me as the annoying child I was. I even had something with other kid from the neighborhood so he would probably see me differently. And then I found out he was hooking up on and off with another girl from the group. Not good, lots of teenage angst and uncertainity…

He sits by my side. There’s some kind of electricity. Or maybe I am fooling myself. During dinner, He brings my attention to him, so we can talk privately for a few seconds, before our attention is dragged again to the rest. The entire table, one by one, is updating the rest on their respective lives. We are the only ones left. When it comes to talking about my current relationships, I am completely honest. I name a name, tell a little about the last few months. I can feel a slight air of disappointment coming from his side but I am not sure… Maybe I am imagining things. Later in the night he makes some kind commentary that makes a lot of sense. Or maybe not? He tells his story and, as he says to me privately, we have a lot in common. More than we expected. Then he says he has a girlfriend and the air of disappointment comes from my side this time. But you never know. Drinks are being poured and we are all confessing. We all laugh. From the heart, it´s all nice and honest. Suddenly everybody is gone from our table and we are alone and the conversation is red hot. He is dying to kiss me and I know it. I am not 16 anymore. I am miles away from the teenager, I can read his eyes. I am tipsy and I am playing the game. Why not? I have nothing to lose as I do not have nothing.

He drives me home after a friend coaxes him to do so. Nothing has happened. Just conversation, laughs, some teasing. Nothing has happened in 23 years! We get home and, first of all, he wants my phone number. And then, we kiss. It tastes like being a teenager again, like endless summers of sun and adventures. “Eres mala” he says. “You have no idea” I want to say. And then, we say good night.