Mother

That's my daughter in the water,

who'd have ever thought her?

Who'd have ever thought?

.- Daughter by Loudon Wainwright III

“Adios”, “Bye-bye”. Her arms wide open, as wide as her smile, coming to give me one of her big hugs. Little kisses on the cheek. The scent of her hair and the tenderness of her neck. The lingering feeling that I should not leave.

“No quiero”, “¡Qué ajco!”. Wrestling to get the drops in the eyes, the medicine for the “sicky picky”. “Cupe”, red liquid sputtering all over her chest. If you have your medicine without protest I will give you a “melo-melo”. Maybe I will give it to you anyway. The fever going up so fast. The convulsion. Always scared she might get one again. Stealing the thermometer to put it on her doll. The doll does not cry, see?

“Esta rico”. Stuffing her face with a whole slice of pizza, until she can close her mouth to chew. Carefully and slowly licking a melting ice-cream, her hands and face sticky. Eating spoonfuls of yogurt that spill on her chest. “Oh-oh! Susio” Mama, give me “tate”. “Pana” means “apple”. Apple juice always in the Mickey Mouse cup.

The pit-patter of her feet in the hallway. Her little voice turning deep to call “abuela” and burst into laughter. Her uncontrollable giggling in a tickle war. Making chocolate cakes with sand. You have to taste it. Delicious! Mami, I want to fly. Flying on top of mommy’s legs. Playing 5 seconds of a song in the CD player, dancing for 2 seconds, change the CD. Only song that gets played to the end is “Jingle Bells” in Spanish, it is “avidad” all over again even if we are in the middle of March. Or maybe Mama will sing “Soy minero” following me all around the house will I laugh like a maniac. “Upa, mami, ero”, “Again”. And there she goes, all over again.

“Do you want to get a bath?” “No!” She does not want to get in, all the “quecos” need to swim between the suds though. She does not like the water on her face. Spit it on the border of the tub. Let’s get out now, “no!” “Bye-bye agua!” “Lala-lalala!” Making faces in front of the mirror, singing her little after bath composition. Mommy puts lotion and sings the “Itsy Bitsy Pider” again and again. Brush her hair, little strands curling on the back. Longing to bury my face on that pretty, sweet smelling hair.

Her sweet head laying on my chest while I read the same story over and over again. “Buenas noches” “Te quiero” A kiss goodnight. Maybe she will sit up and take a drink of water, maybe she will touch my face with her little hands in the half-light, smiling broadly. She will sneak a kiss on my cheek, on my hand. Close her eyes tight. Put her little hand in mine and feel it relax its grip.

I love you baby. You fill my days and my nights. I’ll try to live up to your expectations and be the best mom. Even if sometimes it’s hard. Good night. Sweet dreams. Good night.