Two Essential As

Just to see his smile makes my life worthwhile. _To Know Him is to Love Him by Amy Winehouse.

I remember the morning I met two of the most essential people in my life. I can recall the place, the way the room looked, the season, the weather, the time of the day. But I cannot remember if there was anybody else there except my two As. They kind of swallowed everybody else in my memory. And it was only a matter of time until we became "thick as thieves." But we started as mere co-workers.

The first A was somebody that, with time, became my brother. His sweet friendly smile made me click with him immediatly. We were laughing out loud in just a few minutes, cracking up and making jokes. Just a few months later we were confidants. Our friendship strengthened during the hard times that came just years later. He has a permanent room in my heart and I hope I have him in my life for many, many years to come.

The second A blew me away with what I call "his million watts smile." Our boss described it as "the smile that melts." I swear it does. There, I confess. If one moment in my life defines the terms "instant attraction," that would be it. I heard "Get a grip!"inside my brain a thousand times. At that point, I had only felt once before that insane, crazy, uncontrolable burn. Call it lust, call it freaking awesome magnetism. Still, until now, I cannot explain to myself what kind of chain chemical reaction does this A start in me every time I see him. Just complete and utter loss of rational thinking and control.

So there they were, ready to start the day, my two As. Friendly, lovely, brotherly A and brazilian, lose-my-mind, I-do-not-know-what-to-call-you A. The first day at my new job... just another regular day at work...

Buying a ticket to Paris

So I got married and moved to NY. Now that I look at it from a distance, I married for all the wrong reasons. I did not want to get married to start with. I always thought that marriage a useless institution. So I surprised myself picking a dress and moving forward with all the social conventions. I guess I did not have anything better to do either. Preparing that wedding was my one and only job.

Well, I lie. During that time I went through a grueling selection process to get a job I always wanted… I finally got the offer but never took it because “I was getting married and moving out of the country.” I regretted this so many times after... until I got tired of regretting. If I regretted every single “bad choice” I made in my life, I would be brooding forever. And you never know what good you will end up extracting of the “bad choice”.

So I arrived in New York the last day of September of 2002, I had a couple of suitcases, a home, a husband and a lot of dreams. Six years later, July 16th 2008, I landed in Madrid with my little girl, a stroller, three suitcases, and part of my 401K money, the rest spent in moving back our stuff that, at that point, was floating somewhere in the Atlantic. My dreams were long gone and, as my dear Iranian brother said “I looked like a ghost.” Probably because I felt like one.

Diaries to Timbuctu: the Beginning

My brother from another mother suggested that I start a blog and that he would be my first reader. Being that I have been thinking about it for a while, I am finally going ahead with it. Anything that pops into my mind will go in here, the good, the bad, the ugly... We'll see how it goes, we'll see who ends up reading it, we'll see if I update it enough.

The title... pretty much explained above and based on something one of my friends told me when I returned to "Timbuctu." Hope you enjoy it... hope I keep it up.

Ready for the trip?... Let's go!